The Anti-Leah?

From: MagicalHamsterD
To:
Subject: A musical complement to your website
Date: Sat, 8 Jun 2002 15:43:59 -0700

Seeing as how your website deals with the lifestyle/survival of "worms", a term that you've coined up for the lack of a better word, I thought it'd be worth a mention to point out to you a song called "worms vs. birds" by Modest Mouse (you can hear the MP3 at http://www.epitonic.com/artists/modestmouse.html).

The song conveys an exquisite paranoia and offers a sardonic look at the more sordid aspects of worms having to mingle with their fellow human beings. Also, Modest Mouse are one of my favorite bands. A few others are Bark Psychosis, Song of Zarathustra, and Drive by Jehu. I'm mostly into hardcore/indie/post-rock (and also have a penchant for labels!)

That's pretty much it. Oh, and by the way, I like your website.

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From: Mr. Worm
To: ""
Subject: Re: A musical complement to your website
Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 22:10:26 -0500

Thanks! I didn't really like that song at first, but it seems to be growing on me. My friend sent me another Modest Mouse (teeth like god's shoeshine) song a couple of months ago that I really liked. I should check out more of their stuff one of these days.

May I ask how you found my book? I'm also curious if you found any of the information helpful at all, or if there is anything you think I should add to the book?

Thanks for writing,
worm.

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from MagicalHamsterD
Date: Fri, 1 Jun 2001 22:11:36 EDT
Subject: god, this is a lame mail
To: worm

Alright. I'll tell you my whole crazy life story some other time.

I found your website through this "subculture" list in some community...

I didn't even look through it yet.

But let me write you back after I read it. God, sorry for wasting your time. I'm just really excited about the whole "broken worm" theory. (Always in search of other aliens? Searching for my homeplanet? Other aliens like myself connecting via the net? I dunno...) So I guess I'll go back to actually reading over some stuff.

Bye then,
Hannah The Disillusioned

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From: MagicalHamsterD
Date: Sat, 2 Jun 2001 19:04:30 EDT
Subject: Don't you hate...
To: worm

Hypocrisy.

It exists everywhere, in everyone more or less I suppose, but I feel that it's useful to some people's sanity for other individuals to keep the screamingly ironic suggestions of stubborn and unfounded bigotry to themselves.

As in (translated): you seem to unwittingly give a flawless performance of a blind, self-righteous bantering hypocrite; thus you are the indirect incarnation of everything you claim to hate and loathe?

At least you give off that impression.

I'm sure you're not perfect in that "practice what you preach" sense, as I'm sure no true bigot is, but do you really think that "dumb-ass" is a great counter-attack to legitimate questions or comments people give you? Or are you just lacking faith in the possibility that any of your readers are intelligent or "worm" enough to understand what you possibly have to really say, without using paradoxical, ignorant terms and shamelessly repetitive reflections?

I'd really like to know.

I also noticed that when you feel attacked or questioned, you immediately put up a conscious or unconscious barrier of useless and unfounded "worm" jargon, which is perfectly understandable as we all have our conversational quirks, but please refrain from doing this with me if you ever choose to engage in a conversation thus...In no way am I blindly criticizing you or your work; know beforehand that I talk without the pretense of much useless explanations and apologies. Other words, I come in peace. (Which leads us to the whole exploration of motivation, my motivation, my motive in sending this email. What is a worm's motivation for anything? I'm sure you know more about this than I do, because according to you you have enough decorum and modesty to proceed to write a worm's guidebook and bible...)

Also, please keep in mind that I wouldn't even bother responding to anyone based solely on their website unless I had enough optimistically blind faith in the author to fathom the possibility of us actually having a mutually tolerant conversation.

May I also comment on your "fantasy"? Seeing as how I'm very far from fitting your unrealistic expectations, I can safely proceed to judge you more harshly and despise you more completely than I would have normally after reading all the preposterous and imposing "essays". It hurt me to think that someone who begs to find subjects to condemn and bitterly boil over cannot look more objectively and discover the most interesting subject of all: himself. Don't you realize how contradictory and fickle you appear to the average reader? Maybe you're looking for acceptance, but then you turn around and block off everyone and anyone by putting up a checklist of requirements to be your "friend": pseudo-goth, girl, skinny, worships you, etc. How isolating! And how dissapointed and angry I was at the same time to think that you would dismiss me because I don't perfectly fit your preposterous checklist. I will consider the possibility that you are much more wiser and self-aware to dismiss your outrageous fantasy. If you indeed want something even close to fulfillment of all you described in the latter, you would be more forgiving and open-minded, la verdad? A pseudo-goth, skinny girl, who is unhealthily devoted to you? *Light exhaling of breath* If it's not laughable, then it's just plain sad... At the very least, I can assure you that I will not condemn you beforehand based on a shallow medium such as looks, and a jawline...

I think you may be another alien I can talk to, if not of the same species, an alien nonetheless. Another less than original term I use to refer to my place in this world (alien) as you would with "worm".

So I look forward to a response which may or not completely destroy another mildly cherised hope of finding someone alike to my kind.

Adieu,
Hannah The Socially Challenged (it's a great accessory, I change the last part often)

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