From: "Leah"
To: worm
Subject: i think i can help
Date: Wed, 18 Apr 2001 15:38:52 -0700
Dear Incredibly Similar to me Sir:
Worm. I spent all last night in the rain with my ATM card carefully
scooping up drowning worms and delivering them to the safety of a barrel of
flowers beneath and overhang. I have never been so desirous of meeting
someone in my life; which, truly, is a lot to say since this is all
computerized. Please give me a chance.
Your little explanation of your ideal existence could be nearly met if
you would take the time to meet me...oooohh. Shit. I just read the above;
pathetique (though I know that is not a French cognate for pathetic...it
only looks better).
Wait a moment here- you're most likely being sarcastic on every level of
every endeavour in your life!!! FUCK, I have no chance. At least type me
back.
[real name HERE--->] Leah (lee-uh)
-- End --
From: "Leah"
To: worm
Subject: why? haven't you asked yourself that many times?!
Date: Thu, 19 Apr 2001 15:29:20 -0700
why won't you...nevermind. maybe you didn't get my message yet.
fine. i'm going to go stroke my defined jawline in thoughtful consideration
of options and then wickedly grin thinking about how much skinnier i plan to
become.
(could the above possibly have been cornier???)
-- End --
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I hope you like her because Leah is going to be one of the main characters in this story. Anyway, stay tuned for my exciting response!
ReplyDeleteShe does sound very interesting, very lively. Unfortunately she also sounds like a precocious late-teenage boy, or maybe even a college freshman drunk on the realization of his own potential charms. I'm impressed by, and highly wary of, girls who write like clever guys.
ReplyDelete